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Mario'sBrother
27-04-2008, 02:57 PM
Hey everyone. Over the holidays my English class was tasked with writing a poem based on an 'odd character' from the book 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. As usual I left mine to the last day, and now having finished it I was wondering if I could get some feedback. Please don't be too harsh, just honest :D.

To those who don't want the book spoiled, please avoid this thread. Because the poem is based on one of the biggest scenes in the novel [spoil:2bd6c7655c](when Bob Ewell tries to kill the children)[/spoil:2bd6c7655c].

So here it is (it's a sonnet, btw).

As light succumbs to darkness, so too does the mind of a defeated man
Stealth and silence his only weapons – he’ll show that nigger lovin’ bastard. He’ll show him.
Quick as leopard, mad as a bull he scurries across the empty park - ready to pounce when he can.
He’ll show that nigger lovin’ bastard – he’ll show em all. For those chillun are now at his whim.

Insanity incites his impatience. He stops, he stares, he sprints - now’s the time for revenge.
Their volcano of fear erupts in screams. They’re Atticus’ kids for sure - he can see it in the face.
The girl runs, the boy retorts, the man laughs. Madness has mastered his mind, pushed him over the edge.
His typhoon grip seizes the boys arm. It fights; it struggles… so he tears it out of place.

He raises his knife – ready to kill. Redemption seems as sure as tomorrow – but wait,
The girl is still running. Panic pollutes his thoughts; he charges after and grabs her throat.
With the craze of an inferno he squeezes, she struggles but it’s too late.
Yet it’s he who’s soon short of breath. He drops the girl, he falls, he bleeds… as mercilessly as a goat.

And as he dies he reflects on all that was and won’t be
That nigger lovin’ bastard killed him, he laughs, forever gripped by insanity.

Lon Lon Rancher
27-04-2008, 03:26 PM
****ed in da head bitch! But then again I've never read or plan to read this book.(Unless I'm forced to in English)

Aussie-Byron
27-04-2008, 03:31 PM
Yeah, it's good. Should've wrote a poem about when Finch shot the dog, HILARIOUS!

Mario'sBrother
27-04-2008, 03:54 PM
Yeah, it's good. Should've wrote a poem about when Finch shot the dog, HILARIOUS!
lol I didn't think of that. But it has to be about an 'odd character' and a scene in which said character shows how they're 'odd'. Atticus is the least odd one there lol.

JemaKnight
27-04-2008, 05:08 PM
...

:|

Scott
27-04-2008, 05:41 PM
Yeah, it's good. Should've wrote a poem about when Finch shot the dog, HILARIOUS!

He should have wrote a poem about when Scout was dressed as a ham. I can't remember if that was in the book... I know it was in the movie though. Hahaha.

triggen
27-04-2008, 07:58 PM
Yeah, it's good. Should've wrote a poem about when Finch shot the dog, HILARIOUS!

He should have wrote a poem about when Scout was dressed as a ham. I can't remember if that was in the book... I know it was in the movie though. Hahaha.
He did write a poem about when Scout's dressed as a ham.

Also, since when are goats merciless?

BoonMcNougat
27-04-2008, 09:20 PM
Triggen has never pulled the tail of a goat.

Excellent poem, it captured the essence of the book, and the yeast of the loaf of language that was baking in the oven of the early 1900's.

Bravo.

.brandon.
28-04-2008, 02:40 AM
Why, THAT DOESN'T RHYME AT ALL?!!? Lmao...

I'm so copyrighting that poem so I can use it for school! Muahahaha!
I do believe I have cat like reflexes for copyrighting. Lol.

But yes, kudos to you. :D

<DkW>
29-04-2008, 07:31 PM
good work, shame i dont remember the book.

Mario
29-04-2008, 07:47 PM
very good, i would steal that poem for my project on TKAMB, but we have to look at the themes of and novel and the naive narrator technique #-o

Boo!
09-05-2008, 11:55 PM
I think it was a pretty good poem, better then a lot of my own from last year I will admit. Not too fond of the third verse (stanza? haven't studied poetry in a while...), but with some editing it could be fantastic. Actually, after re-reading it, the third verse is pretty good, I just personally don't like the ending of the first line in it. ' - but wait' feels a little cheap or cheesy for my tastes, but it is still pretty decent.

Hmm. Irate? Fate? Hate?

All possible terms that could fit well with the context. :wink:

Haha, I really should get back into poetry... ah. Thanks for posting this, by the way!