Awesome Story For Sale

[BoonMcNougat]

I am selling a hand written story (awesome because it was written during school) about two of my favourite places. The Spam Hole and the Yume Koujou Doki Doki Panic board on GameFAQ's.

It is one A4 piece of lined paper. Not only will you recieve this piece of paper (folded into an envelope for FREE postage. No other options. Unless the option is you pay me and I do the same thing), you will also get my name Autographed all over the front page. It isn't pictured, because it's personal to whoever buys it. ALSO, not pictured, is the back half of the page. What is on it? Persuasive speech techniques? Linear functions? NOTHING!? You're curiosity climbing? Excellent.

There is no set-price for this soon-to-bo valuable antique. I used a death calculator, and it said I'll die at the age of 24. And once an artist dies, BAM!, his work's value increases Five-fold*.

BONUS
I'm throwing in a caricature, that will likely be awful. So awful you'll have no idea of who it is and what they're doing. But hey, its an extra bonus because I feel for whomever wins this almighty contest.

Pictures!
Here (http://img376.imageshack.us/img376/3513/dscn4099bv1.jpg)
And Here (http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/7900/dscn4100hh0.jpg)
Yeah, here too! (http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/8529/dscn4101hg6.jpg)
but not here (http://img180.imageshack.us/img180/4291/petvet2fx3.jpg)

This is an Auction. I'm not sure when I'll end it. Definitely 9pm AEST next Friday (May 16th).

Alright, get bidding!

*Is not a real fold. The correct terminology is Penta-Fold. Serious bids only.

Current Winner: (try your best to outdo them!)
nintyfanboy at $4.01

EDIT - Also, I only accept Bank Deposit. I'm not sure how to do the PayPal thingo, so that's not an option, unfortunately.
EDIT 2 - I will keep this post updated with the winner and their offer.

[Smoko]

I'll bid $0.71 AUD because that's all that's in my PayPal account.

[BoonMcNougat]

What the BS!?

Should I PM Captain and get him to put it in the Trading Place? I seriously meant it to go there.

You're winning by the way Smoko.

[Jader7777]

$1

[Emma]

Jader wasn't even mentioned because he fails, therefore he is not in the bid.

Also, lololol <333

Edit: Oh and, Ginny and I are not underage. 16 is legal in NSW, if not Australia.

[Danon]

Your handwriting sort of reminds me of mine <3

[Bourbanog]

The password to this account.

[BoonMcNougat]

I think I mentioned my mind was crumping, so I couldn't remember you all. My bagz. It was last period, and I was supposed to be writing a speech, and the sun was bright, and the humidty was too high, excuses excuses...

SERIOUS BIDS ONLY.

I will send it out.

[Bourbanog]

¡ʇxǝʇ dı1ɟ ǝɯos puɐ

[Jader7777]

Jader wasn't even mentioned because he fails, therefore he is not in the bid.

Also, lololol <333

Edit: Oh and, Ginny and I are not underage. 16 is legal in NSW, if not Australia.

He didn't mention me because if he did he'd have to write another 7777 pages about my awesome.

[BoonMcNougat]

Also, I ran out of lines (sorry Emma and Ginny) so I used the word "tits" since my friend was sitting next to me, and he had monkey tits. And the <3 from a fine lady who isn't 18 is damn awesome.

[Emma]

Jacob says (9:16 PM):
Boon's awesome. Why couldn't you have adopted him instead of bernkill and 9mm9?
Emmah says (9:19 PM):
Because he wasn't up for adoption :(

Right?

[Smoko]

If you're wrong, can we disown the other two and just have Boon?

[Jader7777]

I will adopt Boon. As a single father parent I will be far more supportive of my child and we will laugh and have fun. Like that movie, Spaceballs.

But then we'll find it hopeless and depressing, like that movie, The Pursuit of Happiness.

But at least we aren't Like Emma/Smoko/Bernkill/9mm9. Like that TV series, Friends. Except one of them is dead.

[Emma]

Yes, I will give up my Berny and 9mm9 :( Or at least, I'll single parent them and Boon can be our co-adoptee.

[Jader7777]

THIS TOPIC IS NOW ABOUT BUYING BOON.

MY BID IS STILL THE HIGHEST AT $1.

[Smoko]

Yes, I will give up my Berny and 9mm9 :( Or at least, I'll single parent them and Boon can be our co-adoptee.

Aww, if they mean that much to you, you can keep them. Could we use them as the ones that we destroy emotionally and mentally?

THIS TOPIC IS NOW ABOUT BUYING BOON.

MY BID IS STILL THE HIGHEST AT $1.

**** OFF JADER, HE'S OURS! WE SAW HIM FIRST!

[Gookanheimer]

Edit: Oh and, Ginny and I are not underage. 16 is legal in NSW, if not Australia.
I think it's 17 in SA for whatever reason. But then, they never really count.

[Smoko]

That's kinda stupid of SA. Oh well, she'll be legal there too soon enough.

[Jader7777]

THIS TOPIC IS NOW ABOUT BUYING BOON.

MY BID IS STILL THE HIGHEST AT $1.

**** OFF JADER, HE'S OURS! WE SAW HIM FIRST!

HE'S ALMOST MINE. GET YOUR OWN BOON.

[BoonMcNougat]

I had an adopted son, who shall not be named, whom I cleaned up a little, rubeed the dirt off his nose and straightened his sleeves. I gave the kid to Emma. So, I'm pretty good at raising adopted's.

BONUS : If I am adopted, I will be able to raise myself! How freaking amazing! However, I am not up for adoption (yet) and the best you can get is an auto-graphed piece of me mailed to your door, which has a mystery illustration/writing on the back.

Jader is winning, with his bid of $1. Sorry bourbanog, I can't accept your password. I can't buy canned goods with it.

[Smoko]

$1.50!

[Bourbanog]

Sorry bourbanog, I can't accept your password. I can't buy canned goods with it.

What about fliptext?

¡ʇxǝʇdı1ɟ sǝʌo1 ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ

[Ginny]

Jader wasn't even mentioned because he fails, therefore he is not in the bid.

Also, lololol <333

Edit: Oh and, Ginny and I are not underage. 16 is legal in NSW, if not Australia.

I stared at this post for ages lols.
It didn't make sense till I struggled to read Boon's paper.

And I'm already seventeen anyways.
Wayyyyyy legal.
Even in SA.
:D

[BoonMcNougat]

Holy testicles Batman, I need to update on my age of consent laws!

[nintyfanboy]

$2.38

the same amount i wanted to buy the poster for

[piem@n]

2.39 ONE HIGHA!

[Pâblô]

$2.37 TWO LOWA!

[BoonMcNougat]

piem@n is winning. If you don't pay I will contact Captain or someone else and complain about this, and will get you banned.

[BernkiLOL]

Yes, Boon was the one who gave me up to Emma, who has been a cruel mother who pays no attention to me at all.

And she made it so Boon didn't have weekend/fortnightly visits. :(

[Jader7777]

$3

[Jader7777]

$3

[Emma]

Yes, Boon was the one who gave me up to Emma, who has been a cruel mother who pays no attention to me at all.

And she made it so Boon didn't have weekend/fortnightly visits. :(

It's not my fault you're fail! I try to talk to you and be nice but you just ignore me or don't say much. And on top that you wouldn't even let me teach you how to play poker! I mean honestly.

[BoonMcNougat]

I PM'd Captain to move this to the Trading Places. My bagz if your posts get cleaned up.

I fully intended this to be a true sale. And although Jader's offer of $3 is darn tempting, I think I can get more if this is exposed to the general public.

Oh yeah, Bank Deposit only. We got a PayPal thingy but, I don't know how to use it.

[BernkiLOL]

Yes, Boon was the one who gave me up to Emma, who has been a cruel mother who pays no attention to me at all.

And she made it so Boon didn't have weekend/fortnightly visits. :(

It's not my fault you're fail! I try to talk to you and be nice but you just ignore me or don't say much. And on top that you wouldn't even let me teach you how to play poker! I mean honestly.

You've never tried talking to me. Also, the poker game doesn't work for me anyway.

[Emma]

I talk to you every once in a while, like that time you had crutches or something... (which I suspected was a lie). I was totally nice then also, I GAVE YOU A HUG.

[Cloud789]

Treefiddy

[Boo!]

Ugh, bank transfer. If you had a teleportation machine at the ready, then I'd buy it for a fiver. But bank transfer is too much effort, unless it is the special edition with the smexy art-book.

I really want to see myself in a jesters hat. That'd be win.

[Jader7777]

Looks like I get it.

[BoonMcNougat]

No, you don't. cloud bid $3.50. Plus, I'll set the end for next Friday, 16th of May, at 9pm AEST.

I will keep the first post updated with the winner and their offer. Also, I might make PayPal possible. Boo! offers $5, which is awfully tempting.

Also:

BONUS!
Boo! gave me an excellent idea. I will also throw in a free vague caricature of whoever of your own choice! "omg, a clearly talented artist will work for me for a potentially handsome figure!?" Yeah, I will!

No you've got like, 11% more incentive to buy this art piece, which will trump MatrosRx's apparent "gallaery appropriate" work. Yeah, I went there and delivered sarcasm.

Remember to continually check the first post for updates!

[Jader7777]

$4

[GenericMan121]

The story doesn't contain enough me.

[BoonMcNougat]

My bagz. I should've definitely wrote a paragraph, at minimum, to each of my online cohorts.

I doubt there'll be a next time. This is likely a one-time piece.

[nintyfanboy]

I must have it!!!!! 4.011111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

[BoonMcNougat]

You're winning nintyfanboy.

Good work. Updated first post with the BONUS information. Which is a caricature.

[Ginny]

Um.

$3.95

[BoonMcNougat]

Ginny, the aim of the buying game is that you bid higher than the previous bid.

I recommend you bid 10-20 dollars higher than the current bid of $4.01

[BoonMcNougat]

Alright, I'm going to assume nintyfanboy is still somewhere here in spirit. He will communicate with me, somehow, someway, somewhere, is what my spidey senses are tingling to me.

Remember, two nights left! Also the autograph, mystery added content and crap caricature!

[Zelda]

.0. I HAVE FORSEEN IT .0.

he will come to you in a dream

and speak these words " CHABA CHABA YOOLOO MABA"

meaning why dont i just comunicate with you on the forums



then should he win he will contact you via PM .0.

[BoonMcNougat]

ONE NIGHT -16 MINUTES REMAINING, IRON CHEF CHALLENGERS!

[Zelda]

SWEET

[Adios]

Can your next masterpiece have a cameo appearance of me BoonMcNougat?

[xParad0Xx]

Can your next masterpiece have a cameo appearance of me BoonMcNougat?

and me :D

[BoonMcNougat]

What, you want me to sell some crap I whipped up in English for real money?

Are you gonna buy it? If yes, I'll write a sentence or two about you guys on the back of an envelope, and then draw a dancing monkey. Then we can hold an auction, if you're interested.

[BoonMcNougat]

"Oh Jesus Christ!"

"What is it Boon? Trouble at the old mill?"

"No, I might have to delay the auction end an hour or two!"

"OH JESUS CHRIST!"

Yes, I might have to. I was invited to a bowling shindig by a friend today. It's at 6:30, but who knows, ten pin bowling is the hardcore party sport.

Approximately 5 hours remaining. Put your bids in now!

[Zelda]

hopefully i wont be sniped at the last second

[Bourbanog]

*Loads 50cal sniper*

[Boo!]

I read that as '50cents sniper'. It provided more laughs then it would have otherwise!

[Lon Lon Rancher]

I'll bid your enemy's head on a platter by dawn.
P.S. I'll give the ability to compress your excrement in to the size of maggots if you rewrite the story and replace every second word with "Jesus is coming, look busy".

[Apophis]

I wasn't in the story :(

[BoonMcNougat]

Alright, lucky no-one else bid. Mr Nintyfanboy won!

And you would've been included if you wowed me like, the morning I wrote it so you would've remained in. I have a bad memory.

$4.01! What a champ!

[Jader7777]

5$

[Jader7777]

5$

[Jader7777]

O wait. Maybe I should of read before posting.

SKRU YOU NINTYFANBOY.

...Hey that's a pretty cool story you've got there. How about I get my Queen Elizabeth to persuade you to give it to me?

[Zelda]

due to jaders moar interest in your win story i hereby renouce my birthright to the inheritance of your story and gove it to jader if he wants it otherwise ill have it:)

[BoonMcNougat]

Do you want it Jader? Are you willing to pay another 99 cents?

[Zelda]

Do you want it Jader? Are you willing to pay another 99 cents?

98.99999999 acctually

[Jader7777]

Wow topic.

No way am I going to pay 599- 599- 599 AUS CENTS.

5$ was the deal m i rite? PM.

[Josem]

*laughs so hard*

*wipes tear from eye*

[piem@n]

due to jaders moar interest in your win story i hereby renouce my birthright to the inheritance of your story and gove it to jader if he wants it otherwise ill have it:)

Dunno why you would get it considering your not nintyfanboy. :D