My Zoo

System: WiiWare
Developer: Hudson Soft
Publisher: Hudson Soft
Genre: Relaxation / Simulation / Screensaver
Players: 1
Points: 500

When I think of relaxation, the last thing that comes to mind is 'cleaning up huge mounds of filthy elephant shit with a broom' – and yet, that's what My Zoo is all about. Actually, no, there's also the unadulterated thrill of watching the arse-end of an animal as it sleeps the day away. But when it wakes...

My Zoo is the follow-up to My Aquarium, a quality non-game that let users chill out to the sights and sounds of a virtual fish tank. Essentially an interactive screensaver, the title sold amazingly well, so it's no surprise to see another entry in the newfound series. Unfortunately, My Zoo's theme just doesn't have the same appeal; watching – and hearing – animals paint the town brown isn't quite as therapeutic as a bunch of fish casually zipping about to the filtration system's gentle bubbling.


There's also a much greater focus on the Tamagotchi element this time 'round, which isn't enjoyable in the slightest. The title offers no real sense of interaction with your captive friend. Whilst petting them, they'll just stand there as if nothing is happening. Perhaps they're too scared to move, what with the detached hand waving around in front of their face. Come feeding time, a chunk of meat will appear. The animal walks over and puts their head straight through it, somehow instantly devouring the whole thing with no visual feedback. Ah, dodgy clipping. Mere seconds later you'll have to break out the ol' broom. That's it; that's My Zoo.

Repeat these tiring tasks enough, and your crap factory might find himself with a lady friend. Then, like magic, a baby appears. Leave the three of them alone for half an hour and they'll pretty much be drowning in their own filth. Nothing much happens, otherwise. When left idle, the animals will typically just go to sleep. It makes for a dreadful screensaver compared to My Aquarium.


This isn't helped by the graphics, either. The models are solid, but there's a complete lack of care in regards to their animation. It's like looking after a bunch of robots with rusty joints. There are four environments (you're free to swap between them on-the-fly), but they all lack detail and really just aren't pleasant to spend any amount of time in.

To Hudson's credit, they have included a decent amount of animals, with an elephant, zebra, (mutant) hippopotamus, lion, bear, tapir and panda; but it just seems pointless when they all act exactly the same. Put the Wii Remote down and they'll sleep the whole day – maybe getting up to yawn every now and then, have an enormous bowel movement and go straight back to sleep in it. Who needs blankets anyway. Additional animals can also be purchased for 100 Points each (all DLC was free in My Aquarium), including a koala which will be made available early 2010. Exciting!


Score: 2/10 - "Whoops"
Stick with My Aquarium. Unless you have a serious thing for faeces, My Zoo is a complete failure.

Review by Lance McGill (Infernal Monkey)