Game Party 3

System: Wii
Developer: FarSight Studios
Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment
Genre: Party
Players: 1-4

Thank goodness, Game Party is back! With Midway's demise early last year, tears welled up around the world, while the ground itself trembled with the simultaneous outburst of “what about Game Party?!” At this point in time, Game Party 3 had only just been announced, and the prospect of never experiencing its glory was just too depressing. Moments after the fanbase formed a suicide pact, the sky opened up. For a brief moment, everyone on Earth felt the meaning of life. A logo appeared, surrounded by light, warmth and angels on skateboards. It was a majestic display - everyone joined hands to watch the angels kickflip their way into the hearts of every living creature.

“My friends, the adventure of Game Party... lives on!” Everyone cheered; a group of men without hats safely danced the night away. Once again, tears streamed, but now they were out of happiness. The most important creation from Midway's vast history would survive; this is how we can remember them. Game Party 3. That logo – no, that saviour - was Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment.

Game Party 3 proudly boasts about its massive selection of 19 mini-games, yet over half of them have been directly lifted from the first two. Nothing has been improved upon, they still feature the same horrendous motion controls that'll have you wishing for another video game industry crash. Even the graphics and environments have all been recycled. As such, this review will only focus on the new content.


Smack-a-Troll
Well, that's a clever way to get around the 'Whack-a-Mole' trademark. This mini-game has you bonking trolls on the noggin by shaking the Wii Remote. Sometimes they won't pop up, sometimes they will. It's a thought-provoking challenge that'll have you and your friends sleeping for hours. “Welcome to my game party, it's a party – with games!” “Wow! I love both of those things!” “Here's Smack-a-Tr-” “I FEEL ASLEEP”.

Bowling
This is a video game recreation of the arcade machines that try and simulate real bowling. Whoa. The next Game Party should have 'Game Party Bowling': an emulated version of Game Party 3's recreation of the arcade bowling simulator. You get a perfectly fine bowling game free with every Wii console, there's no reason to play this wonky shit. Adding this to a Wii mini-game collection is basically the same as a DVD listing 'interactive menus' as a special feature.

Mini Golf
Nine holes, but none are worth poking around. Mini Golf has really bizarre physics; should the ball roll down a ramp, it'll take a while to actually stop, like it's trying to figure out how to settle down from so much excitement. It may just keep trying to roll into a wall, or change direction for some horrible reason. Don't expect any crazy mini golf elements such as windmills, a radioactive Abraham Lincoln or fun. Nice music, though!

Root Beer Tapper
Do you remember and love Midway's classic arcade game Root Beer Tapper? Then you'll hate this! The concept is kind of cool, but the controls are dreadful, just like everything else in this package. Furiously thrust the Wii Remote towards the screen to serve customers. That's... that's it. The controller gets confused at this complex task, so it quickly ends in frustration and a torn tendon.


Trivia
A bland little trivia game that doesn't let players pick the category. It's 'randomly' decided by the CPU. We were forced to answer a series of pop music questions five times in a row. That's not random, that's torture.

Racquetball
Swing the Wii Remote to serve, swing it again to hit the ball. Phew. You have no control over your character, just like Wii Sports' tennis. This is pretty much the most entertaining game of them all. It's like waiting for the toaster, except there's no tasty reward for your time.

I'm a big fan of FarSight Studios for their excellent Pinball Hall of Fame games, but the Game Party series is just awful. It's never improved, and it obviously never will. Avoid this garbage at all costs. The best thing about Game Party 3 is the ugly custom character menu. You can make stylish cool cats, like this guy.


Score: 2/10 - "Whoops..."
Mini-game collections are a bit of a rarity on the Wii, so it's especially nice to see one of such high caliber. Game Party 3 is an instant classic; something to proudly sit alongside the likes of Super Mario Bros. and Tetris. In fact, it's better than all your favourite video games combined. I sure hope it sells well enough for a Game Party 4, although I doubt they could ever improve upon perfection.

Review by Lance McGill (Infernal Monkey)